Betrayal



Photo posted by Donna Frasca

 Have you ever felt betrayed?  Maybe by a friend or a co-worker, or possibly by a loved one?

I think it is something that happens to everyone at some time or another, but it is always a blow to the soul. 

The thoughts that run through your mind, like...
"How could they?  What did I do to deserve this?"

It is such an uncomfortable feeling, and leaves you wondering how to handle the relationship.  Were you totally blindsided?  Are you hurt and feeling resentful?

Well, as with all of you, I have just been the victim of rude behaviour  like this.  And, I am considering how to handle it.  But, I also wonder what caused this other person to act in such a manner.  What provoked them on my part?

In all cases, I believe these are the reasons:

• A misunderstanding as to my reasons for acting in a certain manner
• Jealousy, always a factor
• Feeling threatened by their own feelings of inadequacy.

I have found that if I try to analyze their reasons for the betrayal, it usually goes back to the betrayer, not myself.  And in reality, it helps to dissolve the pain and anger.
I refuse to play the victim, and trying 'to get back at them' just is not my style.  Why should I sink to their level?

I feel sorry for those that try to make themselves feel better by demeaning others.
So, next time this happens to you, here are my suggestions.

• Know that this person is not really your friend.  And keep in mind that old saying, 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer'  Don't give them any reason to cause you problems. 
• Try to keep them at a distance.  I don't believe in spending time with those I don't enjoy being around.  Life is too short, and I don't want mine to be a soap opera!
• Pity them, try to be nice, and live your life as a better example. 

Here's hoping you a life of wonderful friendships, and wisdom to handle adversity and clear the air, so they remain your friends.  Donna

How to Live a Beautiful Life: What makes us who we are?

How to Live a Beautiful Life: What makes us who we are?: "I have been doing alot of thinking lately about what I want the next phase of my life to look like, and who I want to spend my time with. T..."

What makes us who we are?

I have been doing alot of thinking lately about what I want the next phase of my life to look like, and who I want to spend my time with.

The last 4 decades I have spent as an interior designer.  And, I have loved every moment of it.  The work, the clients, and the creativity that has resulted from it.

But, now I am realize that I am ready to move on to different endeavors in my life.  I have never allowed myself to have free time to just play.  I have always been self-motivated and goal driven with a very long to do list! And I will admit that it has always been hard for me to sit and relax.  However, my body has been telling me in subtle ways that I can no longer rise at 5am and keep going until 10pm or later.

So I know that I want to spend time doing the things that I love...gardening, reading, cooking, and spending time with friends.  I want to renew old friendships that have slipped away because we were all too busy with our lives.

I recently spent a week-end with old friends, and it was like picking up the conversation from yesterday. Old friends know our quirks and strengths.  They have seen us at our worst, and are still here.

I think it is our past experiences that make us who we are.  They leave a footprint on our soul. If I could give any words of advise, it would be to savor all of life's experiences.  They are what shape the person you will become. And the way you handle yourself in adversity is what makes you strong in the future.  No one goes through life unscathed.  Always take the high road.  I know it sounds like a cliche, but people have long memories, so try to behave in the manner you want to be remembered in.

So please, I would love to hear any words of advise my friends out there would give me.  It may save me from making mistakes that I might like to avoid.

And remember, life is what you make of it.  Only you can choose happiness for yourself....it's up to us to shape our lives.  Donna