Friday, April 15, 2011


Photo posted by Donna Frasca
 Have you ever felt betrayed?  Maybe by a friend or a co-worker, or possibly by a loved one?

I think it is something that happens to everyone at some time or another, but it is always a blow to the soul. 

The thoughts that run through your mind, like...
"How could they?  What did I do to deserve this?"

It is such an uncomfortable feeling, and leaves you wondering how to handle the relationship.  Were you totally blindsided?  Are you hurt and feeling resentful?

Well, as with all of you, I have just been the victim of rude behaviour  like this.  And, I am considering how to handle it.  But, I also wonder what caused this other person to act in such a manner.  What provoked them on my part?

In all cases, I believe these are the reasons:
  • A misunderstanding as to my reasons for acting in a certain manner
  • Jealousy, always a factor
  • Feeling threatened by their own feelings of inadequacy.
I have found that if I try to analyze their reasons for the betrayal, it usually goes back to the betrayer, not myself.  And in reality, it helps to dissolve the pain and anger.
I refuse to play the victim, and trying 'to get back at them' just is not my style.  Why should I sink to their level?

I feel sorry for those that try to make themselves feel better by demeaning others.
So, next time this happens to you, here are my suggestions.

  • Know that this person is not really your friend.  And keep in mind that old saying, 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer'  Don't give them any reason to cause you problems. 
  • Try to keep them at a distance.  I don't believe in spending time with those I don't enjoy being around.  Life is too short, and I don't want mine to be a soap opera!
  • Pity them, try to be nice, and live your life as a better example. 
Here's hoping you a life of wonderful friendships, and wisdom to handle adversity and clear the air, so they remain your friends.  Donna